©southwest parenting academy Last update: Mar 2010
http://southwestparentingacademy.co.uk Website designed and maintained by Mulberrydayz Design
http://southwestparentingacademy.co.uk Website designed and maintained by Mulberrydayz Design
1: “There is no such thing as bad behaviour – children are simply trying to meet their needs”
‘You’re kidding, right?’ No, actually, I’m not kidding – this is one of the most fundamental concepts parents need to get to grips with, for two simple reasons:
‘Bad’ is an unhealthy and unhelpful label. Only bad people do bad things and, whatever you think about your child’s behaviour, you almost certainly don’t think they’re a bad person at heart. What is more, as soon as a child has the label ‘bad’ attached to them it becomes a part of their self image and they will, consciously or unconsciously, go out of their way to live up to it.
All of our behaviour is trying to meet a need. Yes, not just your child’s but your’s too! We need food, we raid the fridge. We need to be noticed or need attention, we kick up a fuss. When you begin to grasp the need that prompts the behaviour you can start to address the real issue, and not get sidetracked by the behaviour. Sort out the real issue and the behaviour will change. Missing this point as a parent is like cutting down a weed without removing the root – you don’t solve anything!
Your child’s behaviour, even if it isn’t bad, can be unacceptable! We will look at the real difference between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour another time!
‘You’re kidding, right?’ No, actually, I’m not kidding – this is one of the most fundamental concepts parents need to get to grips with, for two simple reasons:
‘Bad’ is an unhealthy and unhelpful label. Only bad people do bad things and, whatever you think about your child’s behaviour, you almost certainly don’t think they’re a bad person at heart. What is more, as soon as a child has the label ‘bad’ attached to them it becomes a part of their self image and they will, consciously or unconsciously, go out of their way to live up to it.
All of our behaviour is trying to meet a need. Yes, not just your child’s but your’s too! We need food, we raid the fridge. We need to be noticed or need attention, we kick up a fuss. When you begin to grasp the need that prompts the behaviour you can start to address the real issue, and not get sidetracked by the behaviour. Sort out the real issue and the behaviour will change. Missing this point as a parent is like cutting down a weed without removing the root – you don’t solve anything!
Your child’s behaviour, even if it isn’t bad, can be unacceptable! We will look at the real difference between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour another time!
Parenting Today: 2
“Grab the Remote and Press Pause”
Parenting today